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Eighty percent of a fight is childhood

Name: Eighty percent of a fight is childhood
Uploaded: 2026-10-25
Duration: 30 s
Channel: Scott Kalin
Description: In your last fight, what old story was really talking? Scott Kalin, The Form of Emptiness.

Only 10 to 20% of a fight is about right now. The other 80% is childhood.

0:30 · public since 2026-10-25

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What Scott says

But basically, like, if I get in a fight with my wife, right, what I do is I, you know, there's usually 10 to 20% of the emotion is related to the present situation, and 80% of it, or the rest of it, is related to some sort of early childhood trauma or story. So I need to find out, if I'm activated, what was the story that I'm believing from being a kid that is taking over my perspective with my wife. And then grieve that and then come back to her.