I don't need you to see me

Don't need you to see me i already see myself if i'm if i'm with someone and they idealize me i will be like oh this feels gross it feels too close it feels inaccurate it feels like pressure like i'm gonna let them down if i don't keep performing at 110 but if i have an off day and i'm at 70 right are they going to treat me right but i'm like whatever it's fine i'll let it go but i'm not believing them you can take on the idealization or you don't have to right right it's not like oh i always wanted to feel seen and now i feel seen so now that feeling of emptiness inside me is is abated that's the old pet that's the child pattern right not like oh i don't need you to see me i already see myself that's not even if you did see me well why would i even care i don't know you i don't really value your opinion or your attention because i don't know you from a stranger on the street so what does it even matter if you see me like my mom sees me and i'm four it matters she's my mom but there's like massive attention at that uh attachment to her attention but as an adult with some random person it's like whatever hi i'm scott a spiritual teacher guiding people through spiritual awakening by embracing our humanness