Awake means feeling more

When I was 31 years old, I had my final awakening, not that there's ever an end, but what I call my final awakening, when I no longer needed Adyashanti as my teacher and began a long period of integration as I walked through the door over and over again of abiding awakening. So from 2011 to now, so 15 years, I have been living in different stages or integrations or embodiments of abiding awakening for the past 15 years. My experience over all that time is that we do not become less sensitive. We become more sensitive.

I do not feel things less. I feel them more. I do not feel less sad. I feel more sad.

I feel more sad and more happy. I feel more anger and more love. I feel more fear and I feel more awe and I feel more belonging and more shame. I resist my humanness infinitely less than I used to before awakening, especially before my first awakening, but definitely even after walking through the doors of abiding awakening.

One way you could define abiding awakening is no longer resisting our humanness or more accurately dropping our argument with life itself.