The only refuge was the breath

the only refuge was being very present like it kind of feels like, to me, like a pulling away of all of the, like, certainties of your life, you know, and all the things that have helped that you've kind of leaned on when you were scared or tried to control or didn't know the way. And, and so it's kind of like the universe is just pulling all of those supports out and saying, yep, you just got to do it on your own. Just trust that it's going to be okay and keep going, you know? I think it's a good sign.

And my experience with, you know, that part of the path is I just, I just did so much meditation. Because if your mind is in the present moment, everything's okay. And the minute my mind would go into the future or the past, I would. just get very scared and suffer and stuck and worried and go into unhealthy behaviors And so I just found that the only refuge was being very present with the breath and just less and less distractions.

And that the more distractions I used, the more it would take me away. And then the more I would get in trouble. And that it was just better to just really be very simple and present. And oh, this moment and this breath.

Oh, what's going to happen next? I don't know. Oh, look at this is happening next. Oh, interesting.

Oh, look at that, right? And so. And then when you go away from it, you just, oh, do I want to go away? No, I'd rather be here.

Oh, where's my? Oh, there's my breathing. There's my body. There's my abdomen.

Okay, good. Let's try this again.