Bracing makes the pain bigger

as long as we confuse what feels good for what is, we will continue to suffer. It is the very resistance to or or pulling away from or fear of the emotion the pain or the fear, right? That initial hesitation, that bracing, that back, stepping back, that causes the amplification of the pain and of the suffering to such a great extent. And what's happened is it's become so habitual, the pulling away and the bracing and the fear, that we've forgotten that how we relate to the emotion or how we relate to the pain can have such a significant impact on its strength and development and power over us.

I strongly encourage you to begin to separate what you want or what feels good from what is. And as long as we confuse what feels good for what is, then we will continue to suffer. Because, yes, it is totally normal to not like or not want pain or suffering or fear. But it is not true to say that just because we don't want it, it doesn't exist.

And when we say it doesn't exist, we give all of our power of choice and autonomy and the ability to regulate to the pain and the fear.