The self wants not to die

Our desire is I want to rejoin the whole by fully being myself. So basically, the self desires to different things, but usually it desires to not die and to be in control. It's basically what every self wants. It wants to not die and it wants to be in control.

It thinks that losing control is dying and it thinks that dying is the end. So that largely co-opts our desire. So then what happens is our desire fractures into I don't want to die, I need control, which isn't a true representation of what our desire is. Our desire is I want to rejoin the whole by fully being myself.

Right? I want to never forget that I'm the whole. I want to fully embody humanness and spirit at the same time. Something like that.

Right? So usually with desire for me, it's like first we want to be whole again. And then once someone's whole, then they're like, okay, now I want to live from wholeness.