Find a safe place first

So emotion dysregulation is you either are too close to the emotion or too far from the emotion. Emotion dysregulation can also be called emotion incongruence or inauthenticity, meaning we are lying about our emotional state. We are either not conscious or consciously expressing an emotion at a different intensity than we actually have. so, the key to learning to regulate your emotions: the first key is to find a safe place in the body to look and connect with the emotions from.

If there's no safe places in your body, you're never going to learn how to regulate your emotions. If you haven't spent any time cultivating safety in the body, then you will continue with your old addictive pattern of emotion dysregulation. And you always want to have where you're looking from, so the safe spot, be lower in height than the sensation that you're trying to regulate. And so, then when we go to regulate, what we want to do is we want to always pay attention to the relationship, literally the space between the emotion and you, where you're looking from.

That's what you want to pay attention to, not the body sensation itself. meditation, which you can see on my website and also on YouTube, The Three Homes, is all about where and how to cultivate a safe place to regulate emotions in your body. One