You kind of swing back and forth

how it feels to me is you kind of swing back and forth. We've often referred to it as the I got it, I lost it phase. It can be one of the more difficult and trying experiences and phases in the process of spiritual awakening and evolution. My experience of it, it lasted for me about two, three years, two and a half years, something like that.

how it feels to me is you kind of swing back and forth. And the swinging is you swing into your authentic version of yourself, right? The deepest, most authentic experience you've had of your own wholeness or truth, right? And then something happens, you're unable to maintain it, you get triggered, or there's a shift, and then you rapidly go back to the inauthentic self in this contracted self that's kind of not very robust anymore because you've already done so much work to disempower it and see through it.

So that becomes kind of painful because the self is disempowered and falling apart. And as the self that happens to the self, it gets scared and kind of cranky and suffers in unfortunate ways. And so then there's this, so that pattern just continues. So you do that, that maybe lasts a couple hours or a couple days.

You're in the false self, contracted and stuck. And then all of a sudden, something happens, and you swing in to the authentic self and your own wholeness and truth and realization. And then that lasts for a period of time, and then you swing back, right? And so that can go on and on.

So for me, that went on for about almost, like I said, about two and a half