Mistakes Don't Matter. Losing Yourself Does.

The reason why this is so important: the whole world is pressing on you, on me, on all of us, and it's trying to make us shape us in the image of the world. So, to do what we're here to do, which is to radically become ourselves, most of the world doesn't want us to do that. What's important? One of the important things in the spiritual path is personal autonomy, standing on your own two feet.

So much of our suffering and our confusion, especially earlier in life, has to do with leaning on what other people want from us, what our parents wanted from us, what society wants from us. And there's little to no focus on what we truly want and what we're called to do and what we were put on this planet to do. This identifying, knowing, feeling, and acting from your own integrity, authenticity, and personal calling, your own transmission is the most important thing. It is not that important if you do an addictive pattern of behavior or you don't.

It's not that important if you get lost. It's not that important if you make a mistake. All that matters is that you stay in your own authenticity while you make the mistake. That you don't leave your personal integrity or your own transmission, even though you've gone into the addictive pattern.

At times, this pointer feels like a paradox. And or maybe it feels contradictory. I think it comes back to a kind of classical, I think it's non-dual or Advaita Vedanta pointer, which is without one thing, all things are lost. And so that means the same thing with what I'm saying.

It doesn't matter if you don't go into any patterns, don't do any addictive, unhealthy behaviors, and are your perfect self, so to speak, if you've lost touch with the ground of being and your own authentic wholeness. Likewise, it doesn't matter if you do addictive patterns of behavior, as long as you stay in alignment and grounded in your own authentic wholeness. The way I see it is that kind of layers of reality and that the most root layer of our experience is our own ability or conscious ability to connect with the ground of being and our own authentic wholeness.

And then emotions and behaviors and thoughts are all more superficial layers on top of that root layer. And why that matters is when you look at it that way, it's no longer paradoxical because yes, you may get it right, so to speak, in those upper, more superficial layers. However, if you do it while losing contact with your own integrity, it's wrong. The simplest way to get to where I'm speaking from, about and from is to radically change your valuing of yourself and the world, meaning no longer value or put very little value on the world outside of your body and put very high value on what occurs in your body, specifically in your abdomen and your chest.

And some might say, oh, well, if you do that, you won't care about anyone, or you won't respond well to conflict or difficult social scenarios. And though I understand why someone would say that, it's just not the case. Meaning, when I move through the world and I'm mostly aware of my abdomen and my chest, I'm a father, a husband, I have two kids, you know, a therapist. I am sensing others and their needs in the world from my body.

So I am not going out of my body to sense them. I'm not going out of my body to try to behave or be effective. I am waiting for their needs or their emotions or their influence on me to come into my body. A lot of the issues that humans have, especially on the spiritual path, is that we've put a huge amount of value on the thinking mind and thoughts and also the external world, as if the external world can only be reached if we focus on it, meaning we're focusing on what's happening outside our body.

You can just as easily connect, actually more effectively connect with the external world when you focus in your body, right? Meaning, if your awareness is on your chest, say on your heart, and you see a little kid trip and fall, you can feel the impact of that in your chest, and that's compassion. If you are hyper-focused or overly focused on the child as they run and then fall, it's no longer compassionate, right? It has now become more of a fear-based way of living because you are still experiencing the world to a degree, but you've lost connection with the groundedness and root of yourself.

And when you lose connection with the ground of being and your authentic self, then you begin to lean on the world for support, and that has felt as aggressive. It's no longer compassionate, right? We are no longer unconditionally loving the child that has fallen and scraped their knee. We are actually now have become the helper, and we need them to benefit from our help, right?

They become a victim, we are the helper, and then we need them to get better. And if our helping doesn't help, then we may become angry at them. So it's not really compassion, it is caring with an agenda, right? There is an expectation of reciprocity in the compassion.

So, this is just a small example of a greater issue, right? The reason why this is so important: the whole world is pressing on you, on me, on all of us, and it's trying to make us shape us in the image of the world. So, to do what we're here to do, which is to radically become ourselves, most of the world doesn't want us to do that. They want us to do a lot of other things, right?

They might want us to, I don't know, buy a new pair of shoes or something, right? They kind of want us to be someone else, wants us to fit into the kind of mold. I have never personally fit into any mold. It's just never been my path.

And most people that are drawn to work with me are similar to me in that way. They don't necessarily fit into that kind of cookie-cutter kind of traditional wants and needs. And so, to really fully on this spiritual path, reclaim your authenticity and stand on your own two feet, we need to have a very strong awareness and valuing of our abdomen and our chest.